Driving Miss Trixie
by Bailey Belle
Summary: In which Lucifer attempts to give Trixie a driving lesson. I was inspired by Lucifer's muttered comment, "Ugh, kids," and his general disheveled state after he parked the Corvette in 2x15. For classymammoths on AO3, who wanted more Lucifer and Trixie moments.


"Well, child, your mother is finally out of view," Lucifer said, slowing his Corvette and pulling off to the side of the road. "Now to keep up my end of the bargain." Lucifer opened the driver's side door and got out, gesturing towards the wheel. "Let's get this over with, shall we?"

Trixie grinned, revealing gaps in her front teeth. Lucifer assumed they had been broken in half by some sort of accident or brawl. "Cool! I can be your chauffeur!" Trixie cried as she slid across the seat towards the wheel. Lucifer winced as the shoe buckles on her mary-janes scratched against the black leather.

Lucifer opened the passenger-side door and settled in. Trixie gripped the steering wheel, craning to see above the dash board. "Ok, what now?" she asked, kicking her legs impatiently.

Lucifer pointed to Trixie's feet. "First, you'll need to put one foot on the brake, and another on the clutch." Trixie frowned under the steering wheel. "The, um, left most petal. Please tell me you know your left from your right, child, or this will get very complicated."

Trixie glared at him and waved her left hand. "Of course I know my left from my right. I'm not a kindergardener."

"Both hands on the wheel at all times, child," Lucifer scolded. Trixie gave him a side-ways exasperated glance that was eerily reminiscent of her mother. "Now, once you've got both feet in place on the petals, you'll need to reach over to the shifter and-" Trixie was comically stretched towards the stick, and Lucifer sighed. "You know, why don't you handle the wheel and petals, and I'll do the shifting. Just tell me when you're ready."

Trixie scooted as far forwards on the seat as she could, her legs straight out straining to reach the petals, and her tongue peeking out in a comical expression of concentration. "Um, Trixie, maybe this is a bit much for you to learn in one day? You did already have a lesson in emotional control today. Are you sure your brain isn't full of new knowledge?"

Trixie turned in her seat. Lucifer expected a glare, but instead her eyes were wide and her face was tipped down. Hurt, maybe? Her next words were quiet. "Lucifer, you promised. You said that if I pretended my name was my different and followed you around that school, you would teach me to drive."

Lucifer's mouth worked as he recognized an echo of the facial expression Trixie's mother had given him when she said, "Lucifer, you let me down." His mouth thinned, and he sighed.

"Very well then, but we'll have to work together. Come back over here for a second." Trixie gave him a triumphant grin and bounced into the middle of the seat. With great reluctance, Lucifer walked around the car again and sat behind the wheel. "All right, you manipulative munchkin, here's the plan: I will control the petals and shifter, and you will steer."

"Ok!" Trixie clambered into Lucifer's lap.

"Careful, child!" Lucifer grunted as a knee came awfully close to his family jewels. Trixie's weight settled over his knees, and Lucifer could already feel his left leg starting to tingle from lack of blood circulation. "All right, are you ready for your first driving lesson?" Lucifer awkwardly tried to figure out where to put his left hand without touching the human spawn. He started to rest it above Trixie's clenched fist on the steering wheel, but she quickly reached up and smacked him. Lucifer yipped, more from her boldness and less from pain. "Bloody hell, child, what was that for?"

Trixie's jaw jutted out in determination. "You said I could steer. Let me steer."

"As you wish, child." Lucifer settled his arm casually over the convertible's windowsill. "Now, I'm going to accelerate slowly, and you'll turn the wheel to the left to get us off the curb." Lucifer shifted and the car started to gently roll forward. Trixie grabbed the wheel on one side with both hands and yanked it over in one motion. The car jerked as Lucifer slammed on the break to avoid to going over the yellow line.

"Sorry Lucifer," Trixie said apologetically. "My mom let me drive go-carts once and you had to turn the wheel really hard!"

Lucifer let out a shuddering breath, consciously trying to loosen his death grip on the car door. "A Corvette is not a go-cart," he snapped. Trixie's face fell, and Lucifer found himself sputtering, "No, no, child, you're doing fine. You just need a bit more practice." Lucifer scanned the empty road for approaching cars. "We just need to be extremely cautious. Unlike a go-cart track, there aren't any tire walls to keep us from hitting the oncoming traffic." Trixie nodded seriously, still looking unsure. "Well, go on then, hands at 10 and 2."

Trixie gave him a look. "What does counting have to do with steering?"

"You know, ten o'clock and two o'clock. Or ten o'clock and fourteen hundred, if you're on European time." Lucifer tapped two spots on the wheel. Trixie continued to look baffled. "Like the hands on a clock?"

Trixie flashed her Ninja Barbie watch. The black LED read 11:20. "Silly Lucifer, clocks don't have hands or fingers."

Lucifer blinked at the mortal, so young and yet so bossy. "Right," he drawled. "Well, put your hands here and here, and try to keep the car straight for now, hmm?"

Soon they were gently cruising down the street, the car slowing as Lucifer verbally corrected Trixie's wandering steering. True to his word, Lucifer's hands remained on the shifter and the window sill, even when Trixie got distracted by a flying seagull and they almost drifted into the path of a speeding SUV. "This is awesome, Lucifer!" Trixie exclaimed as Lucifer tried to get his heart rate under control. "What's that up ahead?"

Lucifer's stomach sank as he realized the road curved upwards onto a busy overpass. "Ah, well, that is a freeway onramp. It's probably too advanced of a lesson for today-"

"Are you saying I'm not good enough?" Trixie asked bluntly, glaring up and back at him, her mother's stubborness in her jutted out chin.

"I- well- no, child, you've been doing just fine, I'm just worried-"

"That I'll crash your car." Trixie sighed and turned around. "I know you don't trust me, Lucifer."

"What? But- I-" Lucifer sputtered, staring at Trixie's slumped shoulders with no idea why he was feeling so guilty. "Bloody hell, child, fine, you can steer the car onto the freeway." Trixie immediately turned to flash him a grin, which made Lucifer suspicious that Trixie had been getting acting tips from her Nanna.

Lucifer nervously approached the on-ramp, with Trixie's driving now straight and sure. "Now, the plan is to pick up speed as we go up the ramp. I'll aim for a break in the cars, and when I say so, you'll turn slightly left and get in the first lane."

Cold sweat was damp on Lucifer's brow as he gripped the side of the windshield and watched the cars zip by. He told himself he was worried about his Corvette, not the small mortal whose weight was crushing his knees. A motor home barreled past, horn blaring, causing them both to jump. Lucifer spotted a gap in the traffic and stamped on the gas, shifting to a higher gear. "Now, child!"

The next few moments were a series of blurry snap shots in Lucifer's memory. Trixie oversteering into the middle lane. Lucifer stomping the break. A red sports car roaring past. Trixie steering back to the right lane. A deep horn. Semi-truck lights in the mirrors, moving too fast to stop. Lucifer shifting up two gears, stomping the gas, yelling, "Please don't die!"

Lucifer wasn't sure whether his plea was directed towards the car's gear system or the small human on his lap. Either way, the Corvette made a horrible grinding noise, objecting to shifting much too quickly. The semi-truck's lights receded in his mirrors, and suddenly they were calmly cruising along with the rest of traffic.

"La- la- Lucifer?"

Lucifer cleared his throat before he answered. "Yes, child?"

"I think I'm done with my lesson now."

Lucifer pried his hand off the windshield, leaving sweaty fingerprints, and shifted his left hand to the wheel. "Very well, then."

Trixie made a slight snuffling noise, turned, and curled into Lucifer's chest. Lucifer immediately tensed up, worried about the difficultly of steering in increasingly dense traffic, and unsure of what to do with the bundle of emotion. "There, there, child, it's fine." The snuffling got louder. "Not a scratch on the car. No harm, no foul, hmmm?"

There was another snuffle, and Lucifer felt Trixie's elbow bump into his stomach as she swiped at her nose. Oh dear, snot was going to be rather difficult for his dry cleaner to remove. "It's all right. You were an admirable driver! Well, for your first time." Trixie's other hand clutched his suit jacket tighter. Lucifer hesitated, his hand flexing for a moment before he gave Trixie's shoulder one awkward pat. "Everyone gets into some trouble during their first attempt at driving."

Trixie sighed, and her head shifted up. Lucifer didn't take his eyes off the road, but knew she was staring intently at him. "Even you?" she whispered.

Lucifer snorted. "As a matter of fact, yes. When Maze and I first arrived in L.A. we watched these pathetic humans drive their fancy cars with ease. So we decided to steal- er, borrow one."

"What happened?" Trixie asked, her voice more steady.

The side of Lucifer's mouth quirked up at the memory. "The car, uhhh... it's at the bottom of a canal."

Trixie seemed to digest that statement for a while, and her grip eventually loosened. Lucifer tensed in preparation for her to clamber off his lap, but jumped as her small head thumped into his chest and her small arms wrapped around him. "I'm glad we're both ok, Lucifer," she whispered.

Lucifer feel his chest tighten at some unnamed emotion. "Me too, child. Me too." They drove in silence the rest of the way.


End file.
